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Wednesday, 17 March 2010

  • What a day… Happy St. Patrick’s Day to start off...
    But more than that…

    Everything seems to touch me today, to reach to me. I feel everything. I notice how close God really is (Lord, I pray that I never forget how close You really are everyday. That You are with me everyday. Help me to feel You ceaselessly) I sit at my desk, googling flowers that I am reading about as options for bouquets. I see the pictures, and EVERY time the picture loads, I marvel at the mysteries that the bloom holds. Each, so unique; each, so beautiful; each, serving its purpose, keeping its place.  I realize that we are like the flowers. We all are so unique and so beautiful. We each have our own purpose and place. However, we are different from the flowers. We can choose to ignore our role and position and we very often choose to ignore our individuality and loveliness (my sister would be happy I am trying to use synonyms).

     I know that I have done just that… ignored my intention, function, exclusivity and beauty. To me, realizing I have done that is the beginning of change. You cannot change if do not see that alteration is needed.

Sunday, 09 March 2008

Monday, 13 August 2007

  • Another day of confusion...

    Random quotes, sayings, and things from my head...

     

    “Age is an issue of mind over matter.  If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” Mark Twain

     

    “Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example for the believers; in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” I Timothy 4:12

     

    2-1-07 “…We sit in our magical world that’s ‘make believe’ until we must return into the realm called Reality…”

     

    3-26-07 “… I’m stuck.  I’m hard-headed.  I’m unmoved to the Lord.  I’m going through the motions without the emotions.  And I just don’t know what to do, where to turn, how to face it, accept the realization.  Admittance… the first step?  He sees through me.  He just said, ‘But your sad a lot?’ and he’s right.  I cause myself pain.  And I don’t know why.”

     

    4-22-07 “But I miss you, I miss you every single day…”

     

    9-5-06 “I spend my days regretting my mistake”

     

    11-09-06 “I’m complacent inside, kinda satisfied, but more apathetic than the rest…”

     

    11-11-06 “I’m a soul, lost in a sea of faces.”

     

    “Remember tonight, for it is the beginning of always.”

     

    “I don’t know who I am anymore
    I don’t know what to do anymore

     

    I don’t understand what is right anymore

    I don’t understand who is right anymore

     

    I can’t just stand back and let myself make the same mistakes that I’ve always made.

    I can’t just sit here and make all the wrong choices.

     

    So I screwed up before…
    Does that mean I’m not allowed to do better this time?
    Doest that mean I’m, destined to screw up every time? Or that I have to?

     

    No!

    I’m changing my pattern of life
    My pattern of choices.

    It’s going to be alright.”


    “I need to see, again, how great life really is.

    I need to feel, again, how amazing life really is.

    I need to smell

                to taste

                to touch, again,

    How complete life really is, no matter what I’m going through.

    I need the Lord to be with me, everyday, so I can see my way through.”

     

    “I wish I’d never lost you, we’d both have never felt this pain.  I wish I’d never lost you, we’d both be happy just the same.

                But loosing you gave me time to think, gave me time to realize what I’m all about.  Loosing you made me see what was truly wrong.  So although I wish I’d never lost you, maybe it’s got a good side too.  So, loosing you is why I am here today.  Loosing you still tells me I have to stay.

                But in the end, being happy for this pain, never once can change… loosing you is still all my fault.”

     

    “I couldn’t trade you for the world…”

    “I spend my days praying to be with you.  My nights spent dreaming ‘if we were together’ wishes.  I spend my days regretting my mistake.”

     

    “Without you, I am nothing.  Without you, I’m just some dumb girl in this crazy mixed up world.  Without you, I learned a lot.

                I learned who I am and who I want to be.  I learned how to have a great day.  I learned that without you I can be content.  But… with you, this ‘some dumb girl’ is still nothing.”

    “I spend my days praying to be with you.  My nights spent dreaming ‘if we were together’ wishes.  Every second of every day living in this regret of my mistakes.”

    “And all I am in this crazy, mixed-up world is just some dumb girl.”

     

    “What is it that he sees in me?
    Why is it he thinks I’m the best there can be?
    Who does he think I am?

    Where can he get the idea I’m worth a lick of his time?
    When will he see I’m not all he’s thinking of me…?”

     

    “I’m simply a girl.  A simple girl trying to make it in this material world.  I’m a shy girl.  A shy girl learning to keep her peace.  I’m a confused girl.  A confusion of no other girl’s kind.  I’m an impatient girl.  An impatient girl with no on one her side.  I’m a love struck girl.  A love struck girl with no one to love, no one to cherish, no one to return to emotion.  I’m simply a girl.”


    “You try to get me to think the best of the world and of myself.  I’ve told you time and time again; I’m a lost cause- I’m without hope.”

    “You know I love you.  And forever I’ll love you just the same.  ‘Cuz you and I, I guess we were just meant to be.”

     

    “try to make it through

                   the fall,

    try to make it through

                   it all.”

     

    “I’m in a crowd of my closest friends, all having the time of their lives, and I feel all alone... I can’t keep you off my mind…”

    “I don’t understand why I feel this way.  I’m tired of being so alone.  It’s been too long; I don’t want to feel this way anymore.  I lift my eyes to You; I lift my heart and soul to You.  I thought I gave my whole self away, but somehow, I still feel the same exact way.”

     

    “I live just to hear your voice every morning

    I live just to see you that one special day…”

     

    “In the end, I’ve written all my sins…”

     

    “Pain dwells subtly inside, as the face shows joy, excitement and contentment.”

     

    “I’ve got nowhere to go with a great, new outlook for life.”


    “The Void”


    8-2-07

    There’s a blank page

    Staring back at me.

    Teasing me,

    It says ‘you just can’t write.’

     

    It taunts me,

    It knows that I can’t do it.

    There’s a blank page

    Staring right at me.

     

    ‘I have to prove you wrong’

    Is all I can tell myself.

     

    I want to write a song

    A song for you

    But there’s a blank page

    Staring back at me.

     

    ‘I have to prove you wrong’

    Is all I can tell myself.

     

    I want to write a poem

    A poem about destiny.

    But there’s a blank page

    Staring back at me.

     

    ‘I have to prove you wrong’

    Is all I can tell myself.

     

    I want to write my story

    So the world can learn from it too.

    I can’t; there’s a blank page

    Staring back at me.

     

    ‘I have to prove you wrong’

    Is all I can tell myself.

     

    He tries to write what I say

    And he can’t.

    Cuz there’s a blank page

    Staring back at me.

      

    So I’m stuck

    With this white… nothingness

    This blank page

    Staring back at me.

     

    All I could say was,

    ‘I have to prove you wrong’

     

    Instead, I was wrong

    I couldn’t write. So,

    There’s a blank page

    Staring back at me.



    8-3-07 “It breaks my heart to know that I care so much, but he can’t care at all…”

    “I don’t understand why I care SO much.  I have nothing to do with it; I’m not involved in any way.  But, between the two of us, I’m the one sitting here bawling, crying my heart out…”

     

    “Cuz I care too much.  Cuz I can’t fix it.  Cuz I can’t be there to help.  Just because I can’t…”

    “I care too much.  I hold on too long.  My love will always last, and that’s why I fall.”

     

    “Just tell me everything will be alright.

    Just make my day and tell me everything’s ok.

    Let me hide from my pain,

    Let me hide from the world.

    Just give me one more day,

    Just tell me everything will be alright.”

Monday, 18 June 2007

Saturday, 07 April 2007

  • Flyleaf - So I Thought Lyrics

    All your twisted thoughts free flow
    To everlasting memories
    Show soul
    Kiss the stars with me
    And dread the wait for
    Stupid calls returning us to life
    We say to those who are in love
    It can't be true 'cause we're too young
    I know that's true because
    so long I was
    So in love with you
    So I thought

    A year goes by
    And I can't talk about it

    On my knees
    Dim lighted room
    Thoughts free flow try to consume
    Myself in this
    I'm not faithless
    Just paranoid of getting lost or that I might lose
    Ignorance is bliss cherish it
    Pretty neighborhoods
    You learn to much to hold
    Believe it not
    And fight the tears
    With pretty smiles and lies
    About the times

    A year goes by
    And I can't talk about it

    The times weren't right
    And I couldn't talk about it

    Chorus Romance says goodnight
    Close your eyes and I'll close mine
    Remember you, remember me
    Hurt the first, the last, between
    Chorus Romance says goodnight
    Close your eyes and I'll close mine
    Remember you, remember me
    Hurt the first, the last, between

    And I'm praying that we will see
    Something there in between
    Then and there that exceeds all we can dream
    So we can talk about it

    Chorus Romance says goodnight
    Close your eyes and I'll close mine
    Remember you, remember me
    Hurt the first, the last, between
    Chorus Romance says goodnight
    Close your eyes and I'll close mine
    Remember you, remember me
    Hurt the first, the last, healing

    And I'm praying that we will see
    Something there in between
    Then and there that exceeds all we can dream

    And all these twisted thoughts I see
    Jesus there in between
    And all these twisted thoughts I see
    Jesus there in between

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Countin_Stars_xXx

  • Visit Countin_Stars_xXx's Xanga Site
    • Name: Jasmine
    • Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, United States
    • Birthday: 9/14/1989
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 7/5/2005

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